Ownership of your Domain

 

(While I was searching for the fitting image to caption this title, I saw this. Nothing screams a stamp over your domain than T-Rex howling at the moon and daring you to test the possibility of being dinner. LOL!)

Teetering on the brink of dropping off to fall asleep and barely holding on to being awake, I meandered through the tedious work of research at an hour that any working person would be asleep. The new reality I’m learning I will have to return to if I want to complete the Chapter Two of my dissertation.

As I was reaching all over the multiple internet tabs on my laptop, as well as meandering through endless computer folders and files, I wrapped up the upgraded outline that had been so elusive to comprehend yet I just completed. Not only did I craft up something I was impressed with, I came up with a conclusion that involved the ownership of one’s domain as part of one’s ownership of power. The good, bad, ugly, and effort is all your domain - own it. In that instant, a lightbulb of awareness was switched on, and I knew I would have to write this out in the moment so I can fully grasp the understanding of it to implement.

The general consensus of affirmations to self, or self-talks are often positively driven. We are empowered by a passing grade, a promotion, a great news, positive feedback, etc. The majority of folks, (sometimes me included), treat failure, fear, disappointment, closed door, etc as “evil” and something to steer clear of. Nobody wants to sit and reminisce about the disappointments life has doled out on them.

Yet the worldview of Thomas Edison in doing a task 9,999 times, and not be weighted down with every ill-feeling we attach to failure is one I have been trying to adapt to. He had the needed creative positivity present with him as he attempted for the 10,000^th time the task of making a lightbulb glow. 9,999 inner saboteurs held court with him and reminded him he had an excellent track record of failure. And they must have had their usual guilty buddies with them – fatigue, shame, boredom, insecurity, etc.

Imagine when the lightbulb came on. He probably turned to them and exhaled the inner resolve he had that kept him failing 9,999 times when any sane human would have moved on.

The second caveat to this topic is the power in what one says, especially boundary defining statements such as the word No. It is such an empowerment when you inform someone, and they try to be a sly fox to wiggle past your no. So you emphatically reiterate it definitively for them to understand that the word no is a complete sentence in itself, not requiring any explanation.

How do these two tangents add up to a poignant lesson on ownership of your domain that I just learned? The academic hurdles I’m navigating temporarily got the better of me, and I made it to this emotional mountain of disappointment to self for not getting better organized to tackle this pivotal career pinnacle. Somewhere during my emotional vortex within, I decided I was going to be perfectly okay with not being ready at that exact moment to do what I had been planning to do. My academic books to read, and my decision to not read them. The inner punching bag syndrome we torture ourselves with inside while we smile on the outside was so unnecessary. I waited 24 hours later, and isolated in my domain; and now I have a new outline crafted out! I resolved I would get to my study when I felt ready, and I would take a stab at the beast again. The same effortless efficacy we use to own the positive achievements in our lives, is what I used to own the “negative” study experience. I didn’t owe anyone any explanation, or intuitive direction regarding it. My brain, my time, my study hours, my domain. And if it was coming from a place of empathy and sympathy, it is well appreciated, but a resolution was made that there would be no “negatives” experienced, so it is completely unnecessary having philantropists of concern, advice, encouragement, etc to entertain.

Part of ownership to our domain is not emphatically claiming the positives, and then becoming a disappearing specter when the tide switches from positive to negative. Remember Thomas Edison – failure or failing at anything has a life lesson to learn. None of it would be grasped and retained for longevity if one was preoccupied with contending with trepidating feelings about performance, or the lack there of. Darling, snap out thinking the entire ecosystem has to come to a standstill because of your experience. Stars are going supernova and extinguishing an entire galaxy, just as your “negative” experience happened. 24 to 48 hours, you would be back to being the Tiger of Life, prowling on to more successes. And like Thomas Edison, so you didn’t make the bulb glow, big deal. It is your mind, your time, your sacrifices, your efforts and attempts. So I calmly grab your shoulders and forcefully shake you out of that séance bewitching you into  entertaining subliminal or not so subliminal conversations that seeks to remind you of being inept, yet cloaked in semblance of encouragement or something. In owning your power to your domain, you are at peace with your successes and fails. You know the bulb will light up. But even if it doesn’t, you are secure in your wherewithal to keep attempting to light the bulb. It is your lamp, your home, your creative venture on the verge of being innovative to mankind by making the raw power of light conveniently accessible.

In closing, the next time someone comes to remind you of your frailty, or you find yourself in that occupation, remember Thomas Edison. The negative feelings of failure is a construct we created to help empower us to our expectations and to avoid the detours. But this construct is now proving obsolete. Own your domain – if you  had failures left and right, it is still you dealing with it. The eager and effervescent merchandiser of a reminder of it is a peddling charlatan on the job hawking for relevance. Entertain people who respect your ownership of your domain, and are either standing with you, or offering a service to help or something. Someone who is eager to point demerits is not useful for anything but that - a busy walkabout talking about others in the grind of life.

I apologize for the lengthy post. I told you I was processing this as well. The societal institutions are quick to pigeon-hole us into cubicles for easy generic definitive labels stamped on us. The moment you recognize that your ingenuity is the culmination of your positive strengths and the not-so-comfortable other-facets of you, you would make peace with you and your processes. You will be at peace with being in your lane, at the speed you are on, with the attainment you have. 

(And remember to click the donation tab on this site when tat happens, and make a freaking donation to me for my input in your life.  You are welcome. 😉)