When I wrote this song, I was a young man trying to find my identity. I was riddled with so much inner conflict on what direction to go in life. Exhaling through writing.....and music was my cathartic response to the inner conflict.
This song is on my EP "Suicide was hope to me", available on all digital music platform.
"Suicide was hope to me" is an EP of 4 songs chronologically revealing my journey from despair to redemption. "Where do I go from here" is the second song, revealing my transition from despair to searching answers, hope and meaning.
This song is from my EP titled "Suicide was hope to me". The project was songs expressing my journey from depression and suicide to salvation and redemption.
"My New Life" was the song of redemption. It is my testimony and my story. I hope the video captures the essence of the song.
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"Suicide was hope to me". A very bold title for an album. Yet it reflects the state of mind I was in. I am a 3 times suicide attempt survivor. The last 2 attempts left me in a coma for 5 days, and the final one had me experiencing an out of body experience, and drifting away into the here after.
Someone asked me to write a song about my suicidal frame of mind. I already have published 2 books about it, so I jumped on the challenge. "Suicide was hope to me" is an EP of 4 songs about my journey. It isnt about trying to make a popular or even acceptable kind of music. I just wanted to share the experience I went through.
WHEN WILL THIS BE
It starts with this song, which is a cry out for help. When will it be that I can find escape from the pain and confusion consuming me from within? Where is the hope and peace we all long for? Will I ever find it?
WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE
This song is more of a musical interlude, and it is a cry out from a point of nexus. I knew the distractions I was using to medicate the emptiness and loneliness within were not working, but I felt I had no alternative. What else was I supposed to do but cry out for help?
SOMETIMES
"Sometimes" is a conversation with Jesus. Even though I had a relationship with Him, I was still feeling lonely, depressed and even suicidal. This was me expressing my inner conflicts to Him.
MY NEW LIFE
This song is my song of redemption. Through all the gloom, doom and inner conflicts, somehow God brought me through and gave me a second chance at living. I have a new lease at life because of His grace