Unfortunately there is no other place where this tendency to want to insert one's opinions and views in others lives thrives freely than in churches. Especially among the fellowship of Christians who adopt the theology of "God told me to tell you".
This erroneous and possibly hellspawn church practice is usually with noble intents. Very few actually embark on this practice of inserting their views on someone elses life over the person with intentional manipulative motives. The few who do, become akin to Cult Leaders and Predators.
The question therefore stems, why would someone be so self-absorbed to the point of thinking they had sole access to God, and God was speaking directly to them about other people's lives if they have benign and noble motives? Most times such people attach the value of their lives to people needing them. They may have been divinely used at a point to minister an esoteric truth to someone, and the person expressed an acknowledgement of their relevance, which illicited a sense of validation and purpose. They slowly become addicted to always having access to divine information about people, and willing to share this information to the people. This can be most evident especially when they have some significant self image issues or identity problems that has caused inferiority complex or insecurity. Being in a position of always having a word from God, or the Spirit always telling them something about people becomes their new validation of self, and purpose for being. Suddenly the Spirit is always ever ready to tell them about other people. Any disagreement and the Spirit immediately tells them the issue. Their soundness in scripture, and how seasoned their spirituality is becomes evident in how they address and manage this tendency. Someone with a substantial scriptural grounding becomes aware that the Holy Spirit cannot possibly ignore the mandate on him to lead people into all truth by boycotting them, and revealing everything to this person. Mature people look within and examine the reality of possiblity that maybe the Spirit isnt always telling them about other people. The Spirit of God abiding in two people cannot suddenly speak to one about the other without confirming it to the other person being spoken about. In this New Covenant of worshipping God in spirit and in truth, the primary light of God for personal direction is not from without but from within, in one's spirit made anew in the New birth. And the secondary is by scripture. The tradition of "God told me" or "the Spirit told me" is supposed to be a confirmation of what has already been stirred within. When a source without suggests a "God told me", it should be to confirm what is already within.
And truthfully speaking, does God or the Spirit really speak in these alleged "God told me" scenarios? In moments when it is authentic and genuine, it is an inspired thought, an unction or impression - all of which can be subjective especially if the host person already is susceptible to deficient psycho-emotionality as stated above.
What usually is the remedy to addressing these self appointed mouthpieces of God in the lived of people?
1. Do not give them audience. Their validation is in having an audience.
2. Where possible, reveal their flawed theology in assuming the Holy Spirit is their personal ipod constantly telling them whose wrong.
3. Avoid confrontation. Such people already believe God has told them a special truth. One's refusal to listen will only affirm how right they are and instigate them to insist on affirming God's will.
4. Such people are often involved in power struggles as their quest is often to be centerstage. Do not give them your power.
5. Because of their manipulative tendency, if boundaries are not respected, one may need to place them on time out until they learn to respect boundaries.
6. As always pray for them without harboring bitterness, less one begins to mirror them.
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