Wednesday, March 23, 2022

The Phoenix Dawning - returning to my known construct.


The last time I visited this site was two months ago in January. As I visit it now, it seems so detached from me. So littered with what seems like the trappings of the quest for notoriety or achievement of sorts. I really could care less about how many likes were attributed to a post, or the machinery of developing a promotional campaign. When I decided to uninstall myself from the big Social 4 (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook & Whatsapp) I didn't realize the charade I was entrenched in would peel off. I had no conscionable plan; all I knew was I could not continue the constant networking and being so accessible, and doing the social media rat race. It was taking a toll on attempting to maintain a healthy mental well-being.

The near nervous breakdown in wanting to drop out of my Ph.D. program has passed. Remnants of my bipolar relapse and the baggage that tags along with it are no longer daunting. There is zero pressure to live up to an image or expectation. So I'm entertaining returning back. But I don't want to dive in, and I'm right back in the charade. Yet I perceive a kairos moment may be dawning on me and requiring me to snap out of the lull of this temporal reverie I've been hiding in. Reality is slowly creeping back up and requiring me to answer my Name.

Who am I? What gives me joy? Am I trying to be just another factory model of product on the assembly line, or am I going to be authentically me - Unrestrained, Unbridled, and Undefined?

2022 trajectory is still on course...........

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