Here's a heartfelt thank you, and a warm reception and attention to the prayers, well wishes and birthday posts I received
It has been a minute since I did a personal blog - and after going through all the birthday well wishes, I had no choice but to author this from the myriad feelings, memories and anticipations it compelled.
The one major lesson I'm admitting to learning from reading these posts, and a lesson I will have to learn to incorporate into my daily reality is, just because a person doesn't stay in touch does not mean they don't have your best interest at heart. For some reason, I had settled in the conclusion that if a person cares or is concerned, they will stay in touch.....and silence (intentional or not) is a revelation of the disconnection of their heart, a revelation of its true intent.
Yet as I browsed my wall, I saw posts from people I wasn't even aware knew of me; posts from childhood friends of eons ago, family members, some of whom grate on my last raw nerve, online friends, and strangers. The avalanche of well meaning that I perceived and received was unexpected. My energies and attention somehow seem to have been on the few haters who have attempted to make themselves relevant by spewing vitriol and every toxic mess their Mosaically conditioned mind can foster. It certainly is my fault for allowing them to influence and condition my perception and attitude towards friendship.
I want to apologize for the cynicism and cold shoulder I may have adopted towards some of you. In my defense, there's only so much hate (shrouded, unveiled, perceived, implied) that a person can tolerate before being affected. I thank every one of you who made a post - your posts have become the initiating of my redemption in friendships and relationships. I thank you for renewing hope in me that in this sojourning we call life, even though a bunch of loved ones will abuse, misuse and condemn, and pull out the Bible to justify their malignancy, there are much more......sometimes silent but watching, with prayers, well meaning and goodwill at heart.
I appreciate you.