MAY - Mental Health Awareness month

 The month of May is designated as Mental Health Awareness Month. What does that mean? It is basically the month for the awareness of mental health. This includes promoting positive mental health and how to achieve it, raising awareness of negative mental health, and removing the stigma associated with it. This also includes understanding the various forms of mental health struggles and the ways to address them. Mental health can be an emotional and psychological unbalance due to stressors, and/or chemical unbalance in the brain. As a result, treatment can be through therapy, counseling, or medication. Whatever the treatment program one adopts, wellness is the goal.

I am a Professor of Psychology. I embarked on this academic route because I was a survivor of multiple suicide attempts. One attempt left me in a coma for 5 days, from my kidneys and liver shutting down, and having a 20% chance of survival. Another attempt had me laying dying in the hospital being resuscitated, while I had an Out of Body Experience (OBE) - floating and looking at my body, and having some otherworldly encounters. Why was I so fixated on killing myself? I was a gang rape survivor at 7, and it left me diagnosed with PTSD, being Bipolar and being clinically depressed. Having these diagnoses unaddressed and untreated led to a severe drug addiction that escalated to homelessness and loss of everything.

Writing had always been my outlet to titrate the overwhelming negative emotions in me, attempting to overwhelm me. And music and singing were always my outlet. In my recovery and rehabilitation program, I decided to record and release an EP of 4 songs titled "Suicide was hope to me". These were songs I had written at various stages in my life during my rehabilitation.

                                                            WHEN WILL THIS BE

This was actually a song I wrote while I was having one of my suicide ideations. The harassing thoughts to do another attempt were so annoying that I just sat down and wrote this song in the throes of the moment of wishing for better and for more than what I had.

                  

                                                  WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE

I wrote this song from a place of struggling. Having the me in the light of God and doing well, and then the secret decadent me that was chaotic and attempting to implode and destroy everything I was working so hard to repair and build.

                                        

                                                                    SOMETIMES

I wrote this song from the place of feeling lonely and depressed, even though I was doing everything I was supposed to do. I had a relationship with God, was involved in church, and was doing therapy, yet God and happiness seemed like a million miles away from me!

                                                                      MY NEW LIFE

When I wrote this song, I was nowhere near what the lyrics said, but I wrote it anyhow. And I would sing it to myself, and long for the day it was my reality. And one day I realized it had become my reality. That I was living a new life, a life I could only dream of - a life other people dreamed of. I was living in FREEDOM!

                                 THE COVENANT (Audiobook excerpt)

I wrote a book titled "The Covenant" telling my story of my journey from utter chaos to redemption. It was a paperback, an ebook, and an audiobook.

                              CONFESSIONS OF A TORTURED SOUL

                                       (Book Trailer)

This was my first book. It was a collection of all my poems and writings. They were sectioned into moments - some when I was in the thick of the darkest gloom, and some while I was groping and searching for hope and meaning. Others were when I was trying to process what hope looked like, and others were learning to accept the divine love of God.

Hopefully, sharing my journey can help to show that Mental Health struggles are real. There is nothing wrong with having a struggle - the problem is denying and pretending the struggle isn't there. And "healing" is not a one-size-fits-all. Some may need therapy with a professional, some may need counseling with someone in an office to do so, some may need medication, some may need to go to rehab. However you address your mental health concern, it is okay. Nobody has the right to judge or shame you. Own your agency and take back your power!

Birds Fly, Fish Swim

Birds fly and fish swim. That is what they were made to do. Putting them in a different environment will constraint what they were inherently created to do, and born to be. That is how it is when we are put in an environment that seeks to either repress or suppress us, or attempts to conform us into a generic definition or expectation of who they want us to be.

This Easter, I reflected back on my life, and I exhaled in relief because I was living my authentic life, and manifesting the gifts and talents in me, and in being free to be who I am. How did I get here? I refused to settle for less. I rebelled against the framework I found myself in that attempted to structure and define me according to who they determined me to be. And when I refused to conform, I was marginalized. I could have caved in and subscribed to what they were peddling, but I thank God for the freedom I found in Christ. 

Being free in Christ means being free to soar, and free to shine, and not dimming your wattage for nobody. Why exist at 60 watts and be accepted into the clique, if you were made to be 100 watts? If being your authentic self ruffles feathers, then you may be in the wrong place. Find the courage to break out and find your tribe. And if you can't find them, create them! Send out the clarion call and be your authentic self. Trust and believe, the folks in your frequency will hear your call, and sync to/with you. And suddenly the marginalized one will suddenly be harmonized with kindred spirits, and being unrepressed authentic!

The story of my son, Jerry.

 

The above video was created by Jerry, my Spiritual Assistant. He came into my life and has gradually become my son. I watched the video, and I cried because I didn't think that was the impact or influence I had. I am humbled indeed. I hope this video inspires you.

Ps, I don't just "vacation" every year in Nigeria. I have projects I'm involved in there 

Our Cloak / Mantle

In Luke 8:43 onwards, it describes how the woman with the issue of blood touched the hem of Jesus garment, and virtue/power flowed out of him to heal her.

We have the Holy Spirit living in us, and we are Salt (adding flavor and being preservatives) and Light (dispelling darkness and illuminating). Anyone coming in contact with us, and touching our mantle, should experience Life flowing from us and affecting their reality. This is the faith we have, as we believe in the ministry of the Holy Spirit at work through us.

Arise shine!

"Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you" - Isaiah 60:1

Arise (qum): Hebrew word meaning to stand up, get up, to endure, to help, to stir up, to succeed.

Shine (or): To be luminous, to enlighten and inform, to be a source of hope, inspiration, and encouragement. 

Your Light (or): Illumination, source of happiness, purpose, fulfillment, etc.

Has come (bo): To come in, to arrive, to befall, to bring forth or birth forth.

The Glory (kabowd): the weight of the splendor or good sense of God.

Risen (zarach): To break out, to irradiate, to rise like the sun.

"Stand up! Be intentional to succeed and help! Allow the source of happiness, purpose, and fulfillment in you to inspire, encourage and enlighten. For the weight of the splendor of God is rising up and breaking out in you!"

Being whole vs Disability

The story of Samson found in Judges 16 can be viewed as a tragedy on the surface, but the core principle of the story is one of dependency and victory in brokenness, failure, frailty, etc. 

In verse 30, the scripture informs us that when Samson became disabled (blind and handicapped), he ended up killing more of his enemies in death, than when he was alive and whole and fully functional. When he was broken and made disabled from his wholeness through losing his sight and strength and that which he always relied on, he was brought to a new level of dependency on God. As he submitted to death, the grace of God birthed an anointing in him to accomplish a greatness he could never achieve in the peak of his wholeness and prime!

Die to self! 

"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me" - John 12:24-26

Religious Christianity

Have you ever wondered why in Nigeria we pray so much, and quote Scriptures so much, yet corruption and two-facedness thrive and prevail the most? Are the prayers inauthentic? Are the people fake? Or can it be that it simply is the fact that spirituality and carnality can and do coexist because we are spirit and flesh? 

If that's the case, even as we expect the divine intervention of God, the reality of the treacherous heart of man cannot be ignored. Smack in the center of the manifestation of Gods influence and performance can be the very expression of the worst of man's carnality. Just take a look at Nigeria - prayers, thunder and lightning cohabiting with hidden agenda and schemes!